When Your Emotions Feel Too Big

How Pleasant Activities Can Help Boost Your Mood

I commonly hear clients say “I don’t know what to do when my emotions feel too big.” If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by emotions such as sadness, anxiety, anger, numbness, disconnection or just feeling bleh, you are not alone. When emotions feel heavy, it can be hard to know what will help. One powerful tool for emotional regulation I use in therapy for teens is creating a pleasant activities list so that clients have a tangible list of things they can do when experiencing big and overwhelming emotions. 

Having a pleasant activities list is not about ignoring your feelings or pretending that everything is fine. It is about acknowledging the thoughts, feelings and physical sensations you are experiencing in the moment and then intentionally choosing an activity that might lift your mood, calm your body or help your mind think more clearly.

Engaging in an activity off your pleasant activities list is an act of self-care and self-compassion in response to mindfully noticing the painful feelings you’re experiencing.

Why do pleasant activities work? When you engage in something enjoyable, your brain releases chemicals like dopamine and serotonin which act like natural mood-boosters. These chemicals help reduce stress, improve focus and make overwhelming emotions feel more manageable. 

Building Your Own Pleasant Activities List

When creating your pleasant activities list, think of it like a personalized menu of things that bring you comfort, enjoyment or the feeling of being grounded. Your list can include people, places, music, hobbies and sensory experiences. In therapy, we call this behavioral activation, intentionally choosing actions that influence how you feel. Doing even one pleasant activity a day can help strengthen your emotional resilience, shift your mindset when you feel stuck, teach your brain new pathways for coping and build confidence as you reconnect with yourself in a loving way. 

An Example of My Own Pleasant Activities List

Here are some of the activities I include in my pleasant activities list that you can use as inspiration for creating your own: 

Activities for Energy 

• Dancing to my favorite song
• Taking a 5-minute walk. (e.g.,I like going to High park between sessions)
• Tidying one small area (e.g., my desk)
• Engaging in a 3-5 minute breathing exercise. I like using Insight Timer.

Activities for Grounding 

• Journaling 
• Colouring or embroidering
• Having a warm shower
• Snuggling my cat

Activities for Connection & Joy

• Watching a funny TikTok or my favorite show 
• Playing the ukulele 
• Calling my sister for some girl time
• Meeting a friend at a coffee shop. One of my favorite spots is Fika cafe, located in Kensington market.Fika in Swedish culture means a coffee and sweet treat break! Fika cafe is a great spot to do that and I love their walls covered in book pages 🙂

If you’d like more ideas, I often use the “Your Distress Tolerance Toolkit” handout with clients. I’ll add the link below. 

Consistency is Key

While engaging in a pleasant activity may have immediate benefits on your emotional state, it can also take time to feel the benefit. If you’re struggling with depression, you may feel less pleasure in response to activities that used to bring you a lot of joy. If that’s the case, consistently engaging in these activities, even when depression is present, can be really helpful in the long-term because consistent engagement in pleasant activities has a cumulative effect over time. 

Action Before Motivation

If you’re struggling with low mood or depression, you may have a hard time feeling motivated to do things, even activities that you enjoy. Often, we may think to ourselves “I’ll do it when I feel motivated.” The problem is that motivation actually comes after we take action – it is through doing something, and feeling a result, that motivation builds. If motivation is a challenge, it may be helpful to proactively schedule the activity in your calendar or to do it with someone so you have an accountability buddy. 

Start Small: One Activity at a Time 

Try choosing 3-5 pleasant activities that feel realistic for you. You can incorporate them into your day or week, one activity at a time. Over time, it will feel easier to engage in these activities to help you regulate emotions. Engaging in the things you enjoy and that make you feel grounded is an incredibly meaningful way of connecting with yourself and care for yourself. If you’ve made it this far, why not start today? Your mind and body will thank you.

Your Distress Tolerance Toolkit Handout