It’s common for teens to struggle socially as they explore their identity and find their place in the world. While it’s natural to want to push your teen to get out more, it’s helpful for them to feel supported rather than pressured. Keep communication about their social life open and curious. Ask them what they want when it comes to friendships and social connection and whether they feel satisfied socially.

If your teen wants more connection but is struggling to find it, try to understand what might be getting in the way.

Some teens struggle with social skills and confidence, whereas others may be dealing with anxiety, depression, bullying or past social hurt.

Understanding their unique social challenges will help you be able to support them. Exploring their hobbies and interests together can help identify opportunities for connection through clubs, sports, volunteering, or community activities.

Individual therapy can also help teens work through social challenges and build confidence in relationships.

A good starting place is to facilitate open, curious conversations with your teen about their social experiences. Invite them to talk about what social interactions are like for them and where they struggle or get stuck.

As they share, it might get a little clearer to see if there is underlying anxiety, depression, or neurodevelopmental causes as play.

With that being said, it’s tricky and nuanced to tease this apart.

We recommend getting support through parent counselling, individual counselling for your teen, or considering a psychological assessment if you have reason to believe there is a neurodevelopmental aspect at play (i.e., family history of ADHD or ASD).

A main distinction between being introverted and being lonely is the presence of emotional discontent or distress. Introverted teens may spend more time alone or lean towards quieter, independent activities. They may seem drained after social outings and recharged by alone time. Many introverted teens are content and socially connected in a way that feels right for them.

A teen who is struggling with loneliness will be discontented or emotionally distressed about how things are. They may be lonely because they do not have friends to connect with.

There can be a number of factors getting in the way of your teen making friends, such as low self-esteem, bullying, or anxiety. Or they may feel lonely despite having people around.

As a parent, opening a non-judgmental and curious conversation with your teen about their social world and how they experience it is a good starting place. You can also directly ask them: do they feel lonely? Are they satisfied with their social relationships?

Individual teen therapy can be helpful for addressing feelings of loneliness as well as other underlying mental health concerns that may be underlying their social challenges.

Social media is a complex and nuanced topic. In general, it can be a double edged sword. On one hand, it’s a helpful way for your teen to connect with their friends or communities that they might have a difficult time finding due to proximity.

However, there can also be online relationship risks, specifically with excess use or exposure to problematic content. Social media can intensify social comparison, unrealistic expectations, fear of missing out, and sensitivity to approval and rejection.

Having informative, non-judgmental conversations with your teen about social media use is important.

Individual therapy or parent counselling may be helpful if your teen has a particularly difficult relationship with social media.

It is not always easy to tell. Bullying and social exclusion can cause feelings of shame, which may lead teens to hide their struggles.

If your teen is being excluded or bullied, they may feel resistant to go to school, complain of stomach aches at the thought of being around peers, or their academic performance may be declining.

In terms of how they navigate social relationships, they may appear very “people pleasing,” jump at every opportunity to reconcile or connect with peers, or change things about themselves to fit in. They may also pull away, withdraw, and avoid confrontation at all costs.

If your parent radar starts to ping, it’s important to introduce that conversation with your teen. Listen with compassion and validate their emotions. We encourage you to assess the severity and if necessary to escalate the matter to the proper authorities, such as their principal, superintendent, school board trustees, or in severe cases consider moving to legal matters.

Keep the conversation ongoing with your teen and encourage them to connect with a therapist on our team as well.

Absolutely. We are always learning and growing and while new social skills can be learned at any age, adolescence is a particularly crucial time. Teens are exploring who they are outside the family unit and learning how to build meaningful connections with peers.

Parents play an important role in modeling health communication and relationships, while peers also shape how teens learn to interact socially.

Counselling for social skills and isolation can be a helpful way for teens to strengthen social skills, build confidence, embrace their unique ways of connecting, and navigate social challenges.

We specialize in seeing teens and families so all our therapists are more than capable. What’s important is that your teen feels comfortable with the therapist they’re speaking to as it’s the perfect place to practice their social skills.