Posted by Marlie Standen on November 23, 2024
What comes to mind when you hear the word “stress?” It’s very common to respond negatively to stress, label it “bad,” or associate it with unpleasant and uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations. These are all understandable reactions to stress.
Adolescence is accompanied by social and developmental changes and challenges. It also brings physiological changes that include hormonal and neurodevelopmental shifts. This means that our teens are often confronting additional stressors in their lives while experiencing physiological changes that affect the way they respond to stress.
What is Stress?
Stress is the felt experience of what happens in the mind and body in response to the perception of a stressor. A stressor is any event that we perceive as challenging or threatening, sometimes overwhelming our ability to cope. When the mind detects a potential threat or challenge, it conducts a rapid assessment of two things:
Based on this quick assessment, a cascade of rapid physiological changes occur that help us respond to the stressor. This is called the stress response, and it involves multiple systems, organs and glands in the body. It influences activity in the brain, sensations in the body, thought content and process, and behaviour.
Just a Little, but Not Too Much Please
The way we respond to stress is less about the stressor itself and more about the interpretation of the stressor and our perceived ability to cope. If the level of threat feels manageable and we believe we have the resources and ability required to handle it, the stress response may be mild-moderate (sometimes called eustress). Our stress response might make us feel motivated, or even excited. This level of stress response resembles distress in some ways. We might feel nervous, our heart rate might increase, and our thoughts may race. But the intensity of these sensations and our perception of these sensations are different with eustress than they are with distress. Our mild-moderate stress response might allow us to expand our comfort zone, grow and learn.
On the other hand, we experience distress when the stressor is perceived as too threatening, or when we believe it exceeds our coping ability. When this occurs, the stress response system goes into survival mode and signals us to fight, flight, or freeze. These responses feel very uncomfortable for us.
When Stress Gets to be Too Much
Stress can become problematic or unhealthy when an intense survival response is activated when it is not actually needed or helpful. We can think of it as an overactive alarm detection system. A burnt grill cheese and a little smoke doesn’t mean the house is on fire, but that alarm will blare regardless, and the emergency crew comes running. Part of the hormonal and developmental changes that occur during adolescence result in a more reactive stress response system, including an increase in stress hormones.
If we have to make a presentation in front of our class, and the brain rapidly assesses the probability of embarrassing ourselves (resulting in total social rejection), it’s understandable that we might go into an intense stress response. But a spike in heart rate and body temperature, racing thoughts, and the feeling of needing to flee is a response that might not be helpful in this situation. Stress can also become a concern when the stress response system is chronically activated, which can occur when we are confronted with multiple stressors that do not resolve. Stress can build over time without the body getting a chance to rebalance itself. Adolescents are particularly vulnerable to this, because of the overwhelming number of new experiences, competing priorities, internal and external pressures/expectations, and a feeling of having to manage it all as they strive for more independence.
Stress Reduction in Adolescence
What Does Stress Feel Like for Me?
The first step is to be able to identify when the mind/body is registering a stressor, and then become familiar with the signs of stress in the body. What does the tolerable, motivating and exciting kind of stress feel like? Do we feel butterflies, sweaty palms, a stronger heart beat and a delicious mix of excitement and fear? What about when it feels too much or overwhelming? Do we feel pressure in the chest, a frantic racing mind, an upset stomach? These cues or signs are important to notice, because they give us information that something is happening that needs our attention and care.
Calming the Stress Response in the Body
Often the stressor is real, but it doesn’t require our body to go into a full fight-flight-freeze mode. In fact, we are better able to cope, problem solve, and identify next steps when we are feeling calm, cool and collected in our body. Part of managing stress includes the ability to calm down the stress response and reduce arousal in the body. As soon as you notice yourself feeling stressed, try to take a pause and remind yourself that this is the body trying to help, and that it needs help to calm down. Sometimes, these indications of stress are not a sign to push through, work harder or speed up. Sometimes, they are a sign that we need to pause, slow down, hold ourselves kindly, and help our nervous system and body back into an optimal state of arousal.
Often the best response to stress in the body is to help the body settle, maybe by taking slow, deep breaths with a low exhale for a few minutes. We might consider relaxation techniques like muscle relaxation, self-massage, or gentle stretching and movement. Sometimes it helps to use distraction to get space from the intense emotions and sensations by engaging in an activity that is calming and enjoyable. Alternatively, our body might need to work through and burn off the energy and stress hormones that arise. It may be helpful to engage in exercise, run, jump around, shake the limbs out, or dance it out (all while trying to gently and deeply breathe). These might sound silly and hard to do when feeling stressed, but they can help us to shift the state of arousal in the body into a calmer, more settled state. And social connection can be really co-regulating. We might consider asking someone for a hug, or carving out some time to be near someone who is a calm and supportive presence.
What’s the Story I’m Telling Myself About this Stressor?
After helping the body come back down into a calm-enough state, we can ask ourselves, “What is the story I’m telling myself about this stressor?” When we are stressed, our mind can jump to conclusions, catastrophize things, or use all-or-nothing vocabulary. It’s often helpful to journal about our stressors, examine what we think about them, and consider the other possible interpretations available to us. It can also be really helpful to get perspective by talking to supportive friends, family, teachers, coaches, or a therapist.
The Power of Play and Joy
I believe part of the increase in stress we see as people grow up is also connected to this shift in perceived priorities and an increase in various responsibilities. One of the best ways to proactively reduce stress is by engaging in play, and by cultivating and accumulating experiences that are fun, joyful, and connecting. Play is not a reward or something to be earned; it is a priority and an essential part of maintaining wellbeing. Prioritizing and protecting time for play, pleasure and joy is essential to stress reduction.
Building a Community of Support
Adolescence can be a stressful time. Think about your family, friends, school, and community, and consider who might be able to help you navigate the stressors in your life. You are not alone!
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