Tuning In: The Power of Music to Influence Mood

Music has always been a big part of my life. I started piano lessons at the age of 7 and found myself drawn to the feel of the keys and the sounds I could produce. I enjoyed opening up my music book and learning about the notes and rhythms and how it all worked together to make songs. My mom was a talented pianist and as a young girl, I would often find myself sitting beside her on the piano bench. I’d watch her fingers gracefully play over the keys, producing beautiful music, and be inspired that maybe one day I could play like her. Over the years, I continued to practice and my mom and I would often learn duets together and perform for family at holiday gatherings. These moments with my mom are among my favourite memories of being  a young girl. I found the music moving and my mood would often change depending on what sounds the piano was producing. What a gift – Music has the power to change our mood and disposition! 

Thirty years after sitting on the piano bench beside my mom, my kids now sit alongside me and listen to me play. I feel this intergenerational connection to the music and the musicians that came before me. 

We played instruments in my childhood home and classical music was played on the radio every night at dinner. My mom or dad would call my brothers and I to the dinner table and, as we were all clambering from our respective places in the house, I would hear the click of the remote and the radio would flood with a Beethoven sonata or a Chopin nocturne. Our cue that dinner was served. Even today, music at dinner signals togetherness and connection around the family table. 

Once I had kids of my own, I witnessed the power of generating a mood in the house based on what music genre played. Instrumental music at dinner calmed my boys down. Pop music produced spontaneous dance parties. Rock music pumped everyone up before a big soccer game. One time, my boys were arguing and in an effort to ground myself before responding, I turned on “Let it Go” from Frozen. I needed the reminder to “let it go” but surprisingly, it shifted something in my kids too. They heard the first few notes floating through the air, cutting through their angry tones. That shift turned their attention from their fight to begging me to turn off the horrible song! I played it louder and sang along, embodying outrageous musical theatre skills. Music broke through the tension, slowed down the argument, and oriented us towards each other. We gained some distance from the argument. We found our way to talking and resolving things in a much more civil way. Who knew Elsa had so much power! 

This was a pivotal parenting moment for me. We are intentional about having music play in our house. Each of my boys has their own playlist that they get to share with the family. We have different playlists for long car rides, dinner time, evening dance parties, and homework. We love sharing our favourite songs, learning the lyrics, dancing or tapping along, and getting lost in the joy of music. We will throw on a song and challenge everyone to clear the table before the song is done. Or, we will put on a happy song in the morning to add motivation to the dressing and teeth brushing routine. Music pulls us out of our individual moods and brings us together. 

If you’re struggling to connect with your teen, or to de-escalate arguments between your kids, or you simply want to add some joy to your home, consider throwing on a tune and starting a dance party. Expose your kids to the music from your youth. Ask your teen to share their favourite playlist and have a listen. Music has the power to change the mood and it might be the secret ally you’re seeking to help smooth over bumps and build a bridge with your child.