Stop Putting Your Emotions on Trial

Imagine this with me.

“Your Honor, the prosecution would like to bring Sadness to the stand.“

Sadness takes the stand. And before it could take a sip of water, the questions begin.

“Why did you make a scene?“

“Don’t you think you are overreacting?“

“Can anyone truly trust what you have to say?“

And just like that, the cross-examination begins.

And there you are, watching your emotions stutter under pressure.

How are you feeling? Can you relate to this?

Why We Put Our Emotions on Trial

Many of us treat our emotions this way and have grown up in environments that questioned or challenged our emotions. Maybe your environment was the prosecutor of your emotions, and you’ve been trained to do the same. Whatever the reason, we often shame our emotions and try to find them guilty of simply existing before we ever meet them with curiosity.

What Emotions Are Trying to Tell Us

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), emotions are more than feelings, they involve our thoughts, behaviours, and physiological responses to meaningful events in our lives. 

In simpler terms, emotions are a fast-tracked and unavoidable source of information.

If emotions carry information, why don’t we take a moment to listen to them? Instead, we often find it easier to avoid them, dismiss them, “fix” them, or act immediately on what they urge us to do. Anger tells you to yell, and you yell. Or you tell yourself that you should not feel angry.

Instead, I encourage you to pause and consider one simple question:

“If my emotions could talk, what would they say?”

Although emotions may not always be factual, they are informative. The more we understand them, the better we can respond to and soothe ourselves.

How to Listen to Your Emotions with Compassion

So the next time you are struggling with an emotion – pause – slow it down and try the following:

Label the Emotion

Put a name to what you are feeling at the moment. Get familiar with identifying your emotions. Use an emotion wheel if needed and reflect on what is happening internally.

Get Curious About the Emotion

What is the message of the emotion?

Reflect on what it may be trying to share. Whether the emotion is responding to a fact, a perception, or a fear, seek to understand why it showed up for you. 

Accept the Emotion

Expect urges to avoid, dismiss, or challenge the emotion to arise. Many of us don’t want to feel uncomfortable or painful emotions, but the truth is, it’s already here, you’re already feeling it. The more we resist emotions, the more they persist. Practice accepting its presence, allow it to be just as it is, and watch what happens to the emotion as you stop fighting it and let it be. 

Nurture the Emotion

Whether it is factual or not, it came up for a reason. Offer compassion to the part of you that is feeling this emotion. Place a hand on your heart. Speak to yourself kindly. Remind yourself that emotions are part of being human.

Learning to Respond to Emotions Differently

So let’s end this differently.

“Your Honor, the defence would like to bring Sadness back to the stand.”

Sadness takes the stand.

You give it time to sip water.

You make sure it feels comfortable.

You ask one question:

“Help me understand you more.”

And for the first time, no one is trying to prove it wrong.

You are simply listening to understand.

When Teen Counselling Can Help

Sometimes we need a little support learning to respond to our emotions with more acceptance and compassion, and individual teen counselling can help provide the space to learn and practice. 

References

American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Emotion. Retrieved June 2026, from https://www.apa.org/topics/emotions